9 Jan 2011

Pallbearer

Music: Michael Giacchino - Married Life

The road ahead is long and winding
and where it leads I understand.
I carry you on my shoulder today
the pink rose in my hand.

Each step is a silent eternity,
as we pass the autumn willow.
I think of words to bid farewell
while we never really said hello.

Treading the path over fallen leaves
we head through the winter home,
where she waits for you to arrive,
sitting in the empty corner of a room.

A gush of wind rushes just ahead
fluttering my hair through.
And I wonder if you'll reach her
dear, well before I finally do.

~ Ankur.

6 Oct 2010

Best Friends Forever..

Music: The Morning Benders - Excuses

Here we lie in a corner
all we have is each other

When we had all the time
we just ground each other down

My teeth dug in your flesh
and you wrapped me all around

Sparks from our deep love
danced on the ballet floor

Clouds rose under rays of sun
and dust shone like little pearls

You gave birth to a baby doll
and I carved her a toy car

No one could stop us from love
we didn't see the true picture

When we had all the time
we just ground each other down

Now our souls are burnt away
and we are covered in ash

I have my spirit broken
and you are turned to dust

Just a rusty broken saw
and a withered piece of wood

So here we lie in a corner
all we have is each other

~ Ankur.

28 Sept 2010

Me & You..

As we sit here once again
together, waiting to talk,
I know if I speak first, I'll lose you,
but if you do, I still will do.

So as mute companions
we read each others' mind,
playing to win this deceptive game,
and end what has never begun.

A playful cricket strikes a note,
as I turn to find you gone.
And I wonder when we'll meet next,
my friend, silence of the night.

~ Ankur.

13 Sept 2010

Unintended Consequences..

A tiny droplet hangs on the rail,
trading spherical beauty for delicate balance.
Clinging to the iron with microscopic,
invisible hands, it exudes a strange nonchalance.

All around there’s great commotion though,
as the sky shoots a continuum of rain-arrows.
In breaching the hull of enemy it fails,
roars with thunder, for its anger grows.

In principle, the droplet completely disagrees
with the mad-rage strategy of rain.
Direct attack on codename Earth is suicidal
it reckons, a definite act in vain.

It believes in the element of surprise instead,
and so in silent stealth it waits.
Perched, as an instinctive predator, it lurks
till the fight in the prey abates.

In the duel of surface tension and gravity,
the brave droplet knows it’s to decide.
So it keeps a watch on the war-scene
through its twinkling, convex eye.

But abruptly the rain stops and the sky waves,
a vibgyor flag of meek surrender.
Anguished, the droplet moves to pounce,
for a death of honour it would prefer.

A shiver just before the final push,
as the wind kisses the brave martyr.
It takes the final leap of faith,
and merges in the lifeless puddle of water.

Then the droplets show true character
as another soldier takes position.
The spectacle is fascinating, inspiring;
inexplicably, for no apparent reason.

~ Ankur.

3 Sept 2010

Private Investigations..

Music: Dire Straits - Private Investigations

You hear a voice say:
It's not helping, is it?
Looking back, what would change?
Keep on with the dance, stupid.

So you glide on the dark stage,
blinded by the spotlight, you stare.
You can't see the audience,
are you sure they're there?

As a figure fades in the black,
a silhouette emerges.
Two sides of a coin, they say,
one finds, eventually loses.

You go in a spin, senses elevate.
Hear people laughing; do you know them?
You can't take it anymore, come crashing down.
Then there's silence, death of the rhythm.

Snap, you notice a shiny white stage,
over there, two thousand feet away.
Pretty actors perform, like puppets,
hiding their shades of grey.

Tired, you breathe heavily,
impatient, nervous you stand.
You look up, and in horror you find
strings flowing to each hand.

And you wonder what have you got
cheering fans, thundering applause?
In the end, what have you got
a sinking feeling, sense of loss.

But you always knew this story, remember?
Flip pages of the diary.
(This is your investigation,
it's not a public inquiry).

~ Ankur.

18 Aug 2010

Imperfect Tense

Music: Aisha - Lehrein

Strange emptiness. Stillness in air.
Exhaust sound. Sucking life-force.

Desk calendar. Wrong month.
Dusty plastic rose. Illegible memories.

Wall clock. Cheap Christmas star.
Swinging pendulum. Etching scars.

Dirty carpet. Chaotic pattern.
Half footprint. Indelible mark.

Glass window. Twilight haze.
Random sparrows. Yet mockingbirds.http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif

Distant skyline. August clouds.
Abandoned structure. Dream on.

Flickering neon. Traffic-jam horns.
Silent heartbeat. Muted gloom.

~ Ankur.

[Edit: This poem was published by Haggard and Halloo on December 12, 2011 - http://www.haggardandhalloo.com/2011/12/12/imperfect-tenses/]

7 Aug 2010

Coffeeshop and Conversations..

Music: Sad Brad Smith - Help Yourself

Yesterday, as you poured the coffee
in your polka-dotted apron, smiling,
I again told myself about
things best left unsaid.

Today, when you're no longer here,
I wonder if you ever guessed
by the way I used to leave a coin,
hidden, under layers of napkin.

Tomorrow, when I visit your new place,
(I don't know yet) I won't have anything to say.
Yet I want you to know that
the coffee was always good.

~ Ankur.

[Edit: This poem was published on Feb 5, 2011 by Haggard and Halloo - http://www.haggardandhalloo.com/2011/02/05/coffeeshop-conversations/]

15 Jul 2010

Inevitable.

Music: Swarathma - Pyaasi

My eyes fix on the empty chipped cup
yet again amidst a conversation,
and it engulfs me in space and time;
Reminding me of what I once wrote:

'There's this unsaid acceptance
of the inevitable.
I choose not to speak of it,
avoid it even in a babble.

You keep a brave face;
twitch, and just bide the time,
while every now I startle,
as if heard your silent whine.

Time though, would have its own way -
the moment shall arrive.
There'll be goodbyes, a last glance back;
possibly a final high-five?

And what then will happen?
I've been here before - friendships put to rest.
What ensues now I fear,
cross my fingers, lest the thoughts suggest.'

Time warps back, and I wonder -
Are you sitting in a cafe, chipping another cup,
and reading 'The Gift of Magi'
for the nth time?

Thoughts break, I'm summoned -
a call's come through.
I return, speechless; words fail me.
It was you.

~ Ankur.

6 Jul 2010

Falling or Flying, am I?

Music: Jeff Bridges - Fallin' & Flyin'

Now is that right! --

I was goin' where I shouldn't go
seein' who I shouldn't see
doin' what I shouldn't do
and bein' who I shouldn't be

A little voice told me it's all wrong
another voice told me it's alright
I used to think that I was strong
but lately I just lost the fight

It's funny how fallin' feels like flyin'
for a little while
funny how fallin' feels like flyin'
for a little while

I got tired of bein' good
started missin that ol' feelin' free
stopped actin' like I thought I should
went on back to bein' me

I never meant to hurt no one
I just had to have my way
if there's such a thing as too much fun
this must be the price you pay

Funny how fallin' feels like flyin'
for a little while
Funny how fallin' feels like flyin'
for a little while

Never see it comin' till it's gone
it all happens for a reason
even when it's wrong
especially when it's wrong

Funny how fallin' feels like flyin'
for a little while
It's funny how fallin' feels like flyin'
for a little while

I was goin' where I shouldn't go
seein' who I shouldn't see
doin' what I shouldn't do
bein' who I shouldn't be

-- Jeff Bridges, Crazy Heart

27 Jun 2010

The End..

Music: Green Day - Boulevard of Broken Dreams

The boy and the girl rested on a rock inside the Bedouin camp. A fire of wood crackled in front of them. The flame made beautiful, unpredictable patterns. A pot of tea simmered on the fire and spread an earthy aroma in the valley.

Red mountains rose high all around, looking down on them. A great sand dune lay leaning at the mountain in front. It felt like a traveler resting under the shade. The boy wondered how long had the dune stayed there. He was a traveler himself. His stay was nearing its end.

The Bedouin got up, offered him tea, and said - "I am the heir. I own these mountains, this valley and this desert." The boy gazed at the mountains for a while, then took a sip. The tea was unusually refreshing. He replied - "I own little. I may lose all I have soon." The heir paused, and looked all around like a prince. Then he announced - "I give you that land, there. Take it. It's yours, forever."

The boy smiled. He felt his spirits rise. He said to the girl - "I am a Bedouin. But I will always have something." The girl felt amused. She asked - "Do you know where your land is?" The boy said - "No. Maybe it's for the best."

He looked at the sand dune. It seemed as if the dune had shuffled its feet. The boy got up. He was ready for his journey back.

~ Ankur.

27 May 2010

The Sand Storm..

As I hold on to the sand particle
to not get blown away,
I wonder if we would've ever met
had the sand storm not come by.
And now that we did meet
what does it mean for me?
Will I get to say goodbye?

~ Ankur.

22 May 2010

The Nubian Village..

Music: Carla Bruni - Quelqu'un m'a dit

The boy stood by the great river.

A gentle dusk breeze blew across his face and he felt an uncharacteristic calm. Sailboats slowly drifted across the river in both directions. The pole star overlooked a line of palm tress that softly swayed with the wind, as if nodding to him in agreement. The dusty form of the Nubian village across the river felt dull, as though colours had been taken away from nature's palette.

The monotone made him think about the people of the Nubian village. He imagined what lives the village folk lived. He pondered over where they went in their small sailboats and what the pole star told them. He wondered if the pole star told him anything.

As the sun set, small lanterns lit up in the village and in the sailboats. It appeared as if the night snapped the village out of slumber. The sailboats looked like small stars navigating the river. The boy could not make out the horizon where the river met the sky. Sailboats and stars transcended and became one.

The wind slowly started to pick up. A flock of gulls flying west appeared hung in the air above the water. The sailboats made haste. The trees danced. The boy saw a desert storm build over the village.

The wind gained sudden force, as if telling him it was time to go. "Where?" he quietly asked the river, bemused.

The river did not answer.

~ Ankur.

17 May 2010

Definitely, Maybe..

Music: April's Story - Clint Mansell

The boy and the girl sat on the beach. She looked at him. He looked at the sea.

The waves gently forged towards them, lively and white, paused for a bit, and then silently receded. Sometimes the waves left behind silvery shells around them. The boy picked each shell and put it between them. The girl washed the sand off each shell and collected them in her scarf. Silently, they did this for a few hours.

The boy then looked at the girl. She saw he had something on his palm. It was a blue shell. He said - 'The wave left this behind.' She said - 'Keep it. It's precious.'

They looked in each others' eyes. He said - 'Maybe that wave will come back.' She took his hand in hers, and said - 'Definitely.'

The boy looked at the girl. She looked at the sea.

~ Ankur.

6 Mar 2010

Shine on you crazy diamond..

The boy woke up with a start; something bright was shining on his eyes. He lay by the window, and looked up. A big white disc was radiating soft light on him. He gave it a sleepy, dazed look. One, two moments passed before he awoke and gathered what it was.

It was the moon. The boy now felt startled at this realization and stared at it again in amazement. He had never seen the moon so big and radiant. It was beautiful. And gentle. He pressed his face against the glass window and got lost in thoughts. He thought if he would ever be able to go to the moon. It wouldn't be as beautiful from up close, he decided.

For no reason, he was reminded of his grandmother. She was very old, and feeble. She was his favourite person, and he was her favourite grandson. He had only one grandmother, and she had only one grandson. She was losing her memory nowadays. She did not remember when she last saw him, or where he lived now. He suddenly felt very frightened. He wondered if he will ever see her again. His eyes welled up involuntarily, and he felt an urge to be by her side instantly.

He looked at the moon again. Ah, he quipped to himself, his grandmother's name meant shining moonlight. He smiled.

Suddenly, someone touched his shoulder. She said - 'Sir, kindly fasten your seatbelt for landing.'

He sighed, and closed his eyes.

~ Ankur.

19 Sept 2006

Playlist blues!

Mood: Amused

I suddenly realized today that my playlist for some time has consisted of songs only from lady singers, such as Alanis, Cranberries, and many few-song-wonders.

I wonder why - are they more soothing? Which pops up the question - why do I need soothing songs, am I under stress?! Or is it just over-analysis.

Whatever it may be, here is one of the songs from my playlist these days. Bang, Bang - by Nancy Sinatra from the soundtrack of Kill Bill.

I was five and he was six
We rode on horses made of sticks
He wore black and I wore white
He would always win the fight

Bang bang, he shot me down
Bang bang, I hit the ground
Bang bang, that awful sound
Bang bang, my baby shot me down.

Seasons came and changed the time
When I grew up, I called him mine
He would always laugh and say
"Remember when we used to play?"

Bang bang, I shot you down
Bang bang, you hit the ground
Bang bang, that awful sound
Bang bang, I used to shoot you down.

Music played, and people sang
Just for me, the church bells rang.

Now he's gone, I don't know why
And till this day, sometimes I cry
He didn't even say goodbye
He didn't take the time to lie.

Bang bang, he shot me down
Bang bang, I hit the ground
Bang bang, that awful sound
Bang bang, my baby shot me down...

--

~ Ankur.

16 Sept 2006

So it begins..

This webspace has been my project for the last month or so, and today it finally gets launched.

I have realized that for an amateur such as me, it's not an easy task to go the entire distance from thinking of a dedicated webspace of own to actually being able to create it satisfyingly. Nonetheless, here it is then.

I guess I'm not in a great mood to be able to write a great first post. So, I shall quit attempting one.

Welcome and all the rest.

~ Ankur.