Am back with news again from H&H fellows!

So after a hiatus of nearly two years, am back. And with same news - Haggard and Halloo published another poem of mine, titled 'Reconciliation'.

You can find it here - http://www.haggardandhalloo.com/2013/09/01/reconciliation/

I dunno why at the end they've added the word Poetry, seems like a typo. They've also used a godforsaken photograph. wonder if they were trying to be funny. It sucks, I hate it! Original can be read here - http://blog.srivast.com/2011/09/reconciliation.html

Anyway given that I haven't attempted to write anything for two years, this is a good push. Am also heading for a 3-day trek into Himachal this Friday, so inspiration in terms of nature and time to contemplate life should be abundant.

And of course, I quit my job in consulting (finally!) with a plan to take an entrepreneurial plunge. How it works out, time shall tell. The first baby step has been taken.

~ Ankur. 

Another publication

So Haggard and Halloo published a third poem of mine - Imperfect Tense, though they've titled it as Imperfect Tenses, but it's alright. Here's the link - http://www.haggardandhalloo.com/2011/12/12/imperfect-tenses/.

Somehow this news hasn't brought me as much joy, even though this poem is a personal favourite. Perhaps because they say in their guidelines that they won't publish cliches about one's soul, and this kinda hinges towards that. So I wonder if they did it for lack of material.

Bah, who knows. I would kick myself into dust if allowed to! Now I need to find other publishers too it seems :)

~ Ankur.

Second Publication!

Well these Haggard and Halloo people are nice! I got an email 2 days back that another poem of mine (The Fall) will be published by them on 27th, ie tomorrow.

Waiting for the link now, which I shall post tomorrow. [Edit: Here's the link - http://www.haggardandhalloo.com/2011/09/27/the-fall/] Till now the first publication was like a freakish accident. Now I'd say they're just being polite!

Anyhow, it's awesome :)

~ Ankur.

Punctuation

You've let me express myself.
I was claustrophobic; you lent me space.
I got confused; you questioned me.
I needed time; you allowed me a pause.
I wanted importance; you quoted me.
I lingered too long; you put an end to it.
I had to hide; you enclosed me.

And all I gave you were empty words.

~ Ankur.

Reconciliation

It was September: the equinox had
brokered peace between night and day;
around the world everyone took a pause.
Restless birds hovered over tropical flowers
cajoling them into pre-mature bloom.
Penguins stood still on the arctic, heads down,
silently grieving over egg-shaped snowballs.

Life again hung in a balance: your life.
Your steely resolve of eight decades
rested in a fragile body -
unresponsive, forgetful, rusty.
You asked if winter would be short-lived,
and they told you how much they loved you.
But you couldn't recognize them,
and it didn't seem to matter anyway,
so you closed your eyes and broke into a hymn.

~ Ankur.

The Fall

Music: Oasis - Whatever

It wasn't that your beauty was lost on me
though you were full of craters, and
bubble-wrapped astronauts were diligently scarring you
with angry fire-engines and cold-hearted rovers.
Nor had your radiant aura diminished
when an obscure telescope-wielding scientist
theorized that you were 200 million years too young,
yet perhaps well past your cosmic prime.
Your warmth was intact even when
they found steely ice dispersed on your poles.
And I hadn't deemed you lifeless
despite them unceremoniously dropping you
for seven hundred and six strangers.

In the end it was merely the discipline,
the monotony of traversing a lonely elliptical orbit
for eons. Your idyllic, single-faced utopia,
unaware of the dark side, was simply
a disconcerting mirror.

And yes, it didn't go with the music.

~ Ankur.

[Edit: This poem was published by Haggard and Halloo on September 27, 2011 - http://www.haggardandhalloo.com/2011/09/27/the-fall/]

First publication!

Got an email from Haggard and Halloo on Friday that they're going to publish this on Saturday - Feb 5! Being in Sri Lanka, saw their email today - what a surprise to come back to :)

Here's the link - http://www.haggardandhalloo.com/2011/02/05/coffeeshop-conversations/

Awesome!

~ Ankur.

Pallbearer

Music: Michael Giacchino - Married Life

The road ahead is long and winding

and where it leads I understand.

I carry you on my shoulder today

the pink rose in my hand.

Each step is a silent eternity,

as we pass the autumn willow.

I think of words to bid farewell

while we never really said hello.

Treading the path over fallen leaves

we head through the winter home,

where she waits for you to arrive,

sitting in the empty corner of a room.

A gush of wind rushes just ahead

fluttering my hair through.

And I wonder if you'll reach her

dear, well before I finally do.

~ Ankur.

Best Friends Forever..

Music: The Morning Benders - Excuses

Here we lie in a corner

all we have is each other

When we had all the time

we just ground each other down

My teeth dug in your flesh

and you wrapped me all around

Sparks from our deep love

danced on the ballet floor

Clouds rose under rays of sun

and dust shone like little pearls

You gave birth to a baby doll

and I carved her a toy car

No one could stop us from love

we didn't see the true picture

When we had all the time

we just ground each other down

Now our souls are burnt away

and we are covered in ash

I have my spirit broken

and you are turned to dust

Just a rusty broken saw

and a withered piece of wood

So here we lie in a corner

all we have is each other

~ Ankur.

Me & You..

As we sit here once again

together, waiting to talk,

I know if I speak first, I'll lose you,

but if you do, I still will do.

So as mute companions

we read each others' mind,

playing to win this deceptive game,

and end what has never begun.

A playful cricket strikes a note,

as I turn to find you gone.

And I wonder when we'll meet next,

my friend, silence of the night.

~ Ankur.

Unintended Consequences..

A tiny droplet hangs on the rail,

trading spherical beauty for delicate balance.

Clinging to the iron with microscopic,

invisible hands, it exudes a strange nonchalance.

All around there’s great commotion though,

as the sky shoots a continuum of rain-arrows.

In breaching the hull of enemy it fails,

roars with thunder, for its anger grows.

In principle, the droplet completely disagrees

with the mad-rage strategy of rain.

Direct attack on codename Earth is suicidal

it reckons, a definite act in vain.

It believes in the element of surprise instead,

and so in silent stealth it waits.

Perched, as an instinctive predator, it lurks

till the fight in the prey abates.

In the duel of surface tension and gravity,

the brave droplet knows it’s to decide.

So it keeps a watch on the war-scene

through its twinkling, convex eye.

But abruptly the rain stops and the sky waves,

a vibgyor flag of meek surrender.

Anguished, the droplet moves to pounce,

for a death of honour it would prefer.

A shiver just before the final push,

as the wind kisses the brave martyr.

It takes the final leap of faith,

and merges in the lifeless puddle of water.

Then the droplets show true character

as another soldier takes position.

The spectacle is fascinating, inspiring;

inexplicably, for no apparent reason.

~ Ankur.

Private Investigations..

Music: Dire Straits - Private Investigations

You hear a voice say:

It's not helping, is it?

Looking back, what would change?

Keep on with the dance, stupid.

So you glide on the dark stage,

blinded by the spotlight, you stare.

You can't see the audience,

are you sure they're there?

As a figure fades in the black,

a silhouette emerges.

Two sides of a coin, they say,

one finds, eventually loses.

You go in a spin, senses elevate.

Hear people laughing; do you know them?

You can't take it anymore, come crashing down.

Then there's silence, death of the rhythm.

Snap, you notice a shiny white stage,

over there, two thousand feet away.

Pretty actors perform, like puppets,

hiding their shades of grey.

Tired, you breathe heavily,

impatient, nervous you stand.

You look up, and in horror you find

strings flowing to each hand.

And you wonder what have you got

cheering fans, thundering applause?

In the end, what have you got

a sinking feeling, sense of loss.

But you always knew this story, remember?

Flip pages of the diary.

(This is your investigation,

it's not a public inquiry).

~ Ankur.

Imperfect Tense

Music: Aisha - Lehrein

Strange emptiness. Stillness in air.
Exhaust sound. Sucking life-force.

Desk calendar. Wrong month.
Dusty plastic rose. Illegible memories.

Wall clock. Cheap Christmas star.
Swinging pendulum. Etching scars.

Dirty carpet. Chaotic pattern.
Half footprint. Indelible mark.

Glass window. Twilight haze.
Random sparrows. Yet mockingbirds.http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif

Distant skyline. August clouds.
Abandoned structure. Dream on.

Flickering neon. Traffic-jam horns.
Silent heartbeat. Muted gloom.

~ Ankur.

[Edit: This poem was published by Haggard and Halloo on December 12, 2011 - http://www.haggardandhalloo.com/2011/12/12/imperfect-tenses/]

Coffeeshop and Conversations..

Music: Sad Brad Smith - Help Yourself

Yesterday, as you poured the coffee
in your polka-dotted apron, smiling,
I again told myself about
things best left unsaid.

Today, when you're no longer here,
I wonder if you ever guessed
by the way I used to leave a coin,
hidden, under layers of napkin.

Tomorrow, when I visit your new place,
(I don't know yet) I won't have anything to say.
Yet I want you to know that
the coffee was always good.

~ Ankur.

[Edit: This poem was published on Feb 5, 2011 by Haggard and Halloo - http://www.haggardandhalloo.com/2011/02/05/coffeeshop-conversations/]

Inevitable.

Music: Swarathma - Pyaasi

My eyes fix on the empty chipped cup

yet again amidst a conversation,

and it engulfs me in space and time;

Reminding me of what I once wrote:

'There's this unsaid acceptance

of the inevitable.

I choose not to speak of it,

avoid it even in a babble.

You keep a brave face;

twitch, and just bide the time,

while every now I startle,

as if heard your silent whine.

Time though, would have its own way -

the moment shall arrive.

There'll be goodbyes, a last glance back;

possibly a final high-five?

And what then will happen?

I've been here before - friendships put to rest.

What ensues now I fear,

cross my fingers, lest the thoughts suggest.'

Time warps back, and I wonder -

Are you sitting in a cafe, chipping another cup,

and reading 'The Gift of Magi'

for the nth time?

Thoughts break, I'm summoned -

a call's come through.

I return, speechless; words fail me.

It was you.

~ Ankur.

Falling or Flying, am I?

Music: Jeff Bridges - Fallin' & Flyin'

Now is that right! --

I was goin' where I shouldn't go

seein' who I shouldn't see

doin' what I shouldn't do

and bein' who I shouldn't be

A little voice told me it's all wrong

another voice told me it's alright

I used to think that I was strong

but lately I just lost the fight

It's funny how fallin' feels like flyin'

for a little while

funny how fallin' feels like flyin'

for a little while

I got tired of bein' good

started missin that ol' feelin' free

stopped actin' like I thought I should

went on back to bein' me

I never meant to hurt no one

I just had to have my way

if there's such a thing as too much fun

this must be the price you pay

Funny how fallin' feels like flyin'

for a little while

Funny how fallin' feels like flyin'

for a little while

Never see it comin' till it's gone

it all happens for a reason

even when it's wrong

especially when it's wrong

Funny how fallin' feels like flyin'

for a little while

It's funny how fallin' feels like flyin'

for a little while

I was goin' where I shouldn't go

seein' who I shouldn't see

doin' what I shouldn't do

bein' who I shouldn't be

-- Jeff Bridges, Crazy Heart

The End..

Music: Green Day - Boulevard of Broken Dreams

The boy and the girl rested on a rock inside the Bedouin camp. A fire of wood crackled in front of them. The flame made beautiful, unpredictable patterns. A pot of tea simmered on the fire and spread an earthy aroma in the valley.

Red mountains rose high all around, looking down on them. A great sand dune lay leaning at the mountain in front. It felt like a traveler resting under the shade. The boy wondered how long had the dune stayed there. He was a traveler himself. His stay was nearing its end.

The Bedouin got up, offered him tea, and said - "I am the heir. I own these mountains, this valley and this desert." The boy gazed at the mountains for a while, then took a sip. The tea was unusually refreshing. He replied - "I own little. I may lose all I have soon." The heir paused, and looked all around like a prince. Then he announced - "I give you that land, there. Take it. It's yours, forever."

The boy smiled. He felt his spirits rise. He said to the girl - "I am a Bedouin. But I will always have something." The girl felt amused. She asked - "Do you know where your land is?" The boy said - "No. Maybe it's for the best."

He looked at the sand dune. It seemed as if the dune had shuffled its feet. The boy got up. He was ready for his journey back.

~ Ankur.

The Sand Storm..

As I hold on to the sand particle

to not get blown away,

I wonder if we would've ever met

had the sand storm not come by.

And now that we did meet

what does it mean for me?

Will I get to say goodbye?

~ Ankur.

The Nubian Village..

Music: Carla Bruni - Quelqu'un m'a dit

The boy stood by the great river.

A gentle dusk breeze blew across his face and he felt an uncharacteristic calm. Sailboats slowly drifted across the river in both directions. The pole star overlooked a line of palm tress that softly swayed with the wind, as if nodding to him in agreement. The dusty form of the Nubian village across the river felt dull, as though colours had been taken away from nature's palette.

The monotone made him think about the people of the Nubian village. He imagined what lives the village folk lived. He pondered over where they went in their small sailboats and what the pole star told them. He wondered if the pole star told him anything.

As the sun set, small lanterns lit up in the village and in the sailboats. It appeared as if the night snapped the village out of slumber. The sailboats looked like small stars navigating the river. The boy could not make out the horizon where the river met the sky. Sailboats and stars transcended and became one.

The wind slowly started to pick up. A flock of gulls flying west appeared hung in the air above the water. The sailboats made haste. The trees danced. The boy saw a desert storm build over the village.

The wind gained sudden force, as if telling him it was time to go. "Where?" he quietly asked the river, bemused.

The river did not answer.

~ Ankur.

Definitely, Maybe..

Music: April's Story - Clint Mansell

The boy and the girl sat on the beach. She looked at him. He looked at the sea.

The waves gently forged towards them, lively and white, paused for a bit, and then silently receded. Sometimes the waves left behind silvery shells around them. The boy picked each shell and put it between them. The girl washed the sand off each shell and collected them in her scarf. Silently, they did this for a few hours.

The boy then looked at the girl. She saw he had something on his palm. It was a blue shell. He said - 'The wave left this behind.' She said - 'Keep it. It's precious.'

They looked in each others' eyes. He said - 'Maybe that wave will come back.' She took his hand in hers, and said - 'Definitely.'

The boy looked at the girl. She looked at the sea.

~ Ankur.